CROSSFIT SUFFOLK *** Forging Elite Fitness
SPARTAN PERFORMANCE *** Strength and Conditioning
300 meter row
power snatch, 10 reps (95/65)
DB push jerk, 5 per arm (40/30)
ring dips, 10 reps
power clean, 10 reps (95/65)
deck squats, 10 reps
1-hand overhead squat, 5 per arm(40/30)
By George Demetriou
Few things disturb me!
It's not war, famine, disease or corruption that get to me. It's not man's inhumanity to his fellow man. Pollution, pushy salesmen, solar storms?…nah.
What really boils my blood?: An alleged-man who would assume some sort of forward leaning squat stance and CURL a kettlebell while looking in the mirror!
Now, I didn't witness this gross violation of kettlebell etiquette, but a highly reliable source did. After overcoming his initial trauma, the source was able to report this injustice to me. From what we could gather the half-man was trying to position himself in a new-fangled concentration curl position and thought curling with the kettlebell would be…….special. Of course, a weight is a weight and curling anything will pump up your biceps facilitating getting your "swole" on, but that's not what kettlebells are for. You dishonor the kettlebell and you dishonor yourself by using the kettlebell to this end.
Kettlebells are implements of whole body strength and conditioning…not isolation work. Kettlebells are for swinging, snatching, cleaning, pressing, squatting, jerking and for get-ups. Work that requires the whole body to be engaged. Anything short of this is worthy of swift and severe punishment.
In fact I took the liberty of instructing the source that should he witness the above described event again, or anything similar, he should reach out to the lost fitness enthusiast and help him. The source should gently approach the curler and ask to hold his kettlebell. When the curler offers the kettlebell the source should hold it tightly and SMASH THE CURLER RIGHT IN THE MUG. Just swing that kettlebell with all that you have. Try to cackle maniacally as you do so. Pick a good line and repeat over and over again….something like, "kettlebells are not for curling" or "take that you filthy animal". Think Tommy (Joe Pesci) in Goodfellas stabbing Billy Bats in the neck repeatedly with a pen. Remember, it's not only the curler you want to help, but anyone else in the gym that might have watched the kettlebell curler and thought to himself, "Hmmm…I never thought of that….curling a kettlebell….shear genius!" You owe it to your community to make your point dramatically. So go ahead, use unbridled ferocity! Put an end to the problem before it takes root and grows!
[In case you've misplaced your sense of humor…I was just kidding. I don't condone violence to rectify ignorance in the fitness community………except when kettlebells are curled!]